Letters To Stacie
by queennpippaa
Summary: Aubrey Posen is madly in love with Stacie Conrad. When Stacie had arrived at Barden University her senior year, Aubrey began writing notes addressed to the freshman, never with the intention of actually sending the letters to the younger girl. However, when Aubrey falls ill, she begins anonymously sending the letters to Stacie in hopes that she would find her way to her.
1. The Day The Spark Was Ignited

It was move in day at Barden University and Aubrey Posen found herself extremely excited for this school year to begin. You see it was Aubrey's senior year of college and she was excited to take on life after college with her best friend Chloe Beale by her side. Although the thing Aubrey was dreading the most was that she would have to endure another A Capella competition season against the Barden Bella's rivals, The Treblemakers. The blonde did enjoy her time as a Bella and she wouldn't trade it for anything, but she wasn't sure if could last another year with Bumper and his sarcastic comments. Aubrey finally arrived at the campus and was greeted by none other than her favorite redhead, Chloe.

"Long time no see, Red," Aubrey chuckled as she exited her car.

"It's good to see you too, Aubrey," Chloe replied, smacking the blond for calling her red.

"Should we make our way to the booth?" Aubrey asked, still attempting to recover from her fit of laughter.

"We probably should," Chloe said, both girls finally able to compose themselves.

Aubrey and Chloe were at the activities booth trying to recruit singers for the Bella's to no avail after the incident that occurred after last years ICCA'S.

 _*Flashback*_

 _The Bella's were on stage at the stage at the ICCA Finals at Lincoln Center, and were absolutely nailing the performance. Alice had just finished her solo and handed the microphone over to Aubrey for her big solo moment._

 _Aubrey was nailing her solo until she got so nervous that she puked. Literally everywhere. In the words of John and Gail, "She lost her lunch all over the third row." Aubrey stood there mortified knowing that Alice was going to bitch at her as soon as they got off stage, but at least she had Chloe by her side to hold her hair back._

 _*End Flashback*_

Aubrey and Chloe were so desperate to recruit new members, that were actually considering allowing Baloney Barb to join.

"Hey, Barb! Gonna audition this year? We have openings." Chloe asked the brunette.

"Oh, now that you've puked your way to the bottom, you might actually consider me? I've auditioned three times and never got in because you said my boobs look like baloney," She snapped back sarcastically at Chloe, putting her hands on her hips revealing her baloney like boobs. "The word's out. The Bella's are the laughing stock of A Capella. Goodlook recruiting this year, douche-b's."

"This. Is. A TRAVESTY!" Chloe sings frantically, "If we can't recruit Baloney Barb,we can't get anybody."

Aubrey tried to calm her friend who was now hysterical, "Take the dramatics down a notch, Chlo. I'm confident we'll find eight super-hot girls with bikini ready bodies who can harmonize and have perfect pitch. "

A group of attractive girls passes and Aubrey offers them a flyer. However the girls push the blond to the side and continued on their way. Aubrey clearly infuriated about what had just transpired, turned back to her fellow co-captain handing her the flyers.

"Keep flyering. We have a tradition to uphold," Aubrey tells Chloe, obviously beginning to become flustered herself.

"How about we just get good singers?" Chloe suggests as an Australian girl approaches the booth.

"Did you say good singers?" The Australian questioned.

"Hi! Can you sing?" Chloe asked the blond before her.

"Yeah," The girl replied confidently.

"Can you read music?" Chloe further asked the girl once again responding with a confident yes.

"Can you match pitch?" Chloe asked the Australian.

"Try me," the blond stated, as if daring Chloe.

The redhead sang a series of three notes and the Australian matched all the notes perfectly.

"Your name?" Chloe asked.

"Fat Amy," the girl responded.

"You call yourself Fat Amy?" Aubrey asked finally chiming in to conversation.

"Yep. So you twig bitches don't do it behind my back," Amy replied simply causing Chloe and Aubrey to exchange looks.

Time passed by and the girls were able to recruit some girls to come to auditions, but they definitely hadn't recruited enough girls to have a complete group. When Chloe saw a short alternative girl she thought that she would be the perfect addition to the group.

"Oh what about her?" Chloe asked as the short brunette approached the booth.

"Oh I don't know, she looks a little too alternative for us," Aubrey says clearly not liking the girl at all

"Hi! Any interest in auditioning for our A Capella group?" Chloe asked the girl.

"Oh right, this is like a thing now." The shorter girl stated sarcastically.

Oh totes, we sing covers of songs but we do it without any instruments. It's all from our mouths!" Chloe replied enthusiastically to the girl.

"Yikes." She replied back, not sure if Chloe was being serious or not.

"So are you interested?" Chloe asked in her usual bubbly tone.

"Sorry, it's just... it's pretty lame."

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey had decided she had finally had enough of this girl and her sarcasm. She was determined now to put the hobbit in her place. "Synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart topper is not lame."

"We sing all over the world and we compete national championships." Chloe said, trying to cover for Aubrey's sudden bitchiness.

"On purpose?" The brunette questioned, which only further infuriated Aubrey.

"We played the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center you bitch!" Aubrey was ready to reach forward and punch the girl in the face but luckily Chloe was there to diffuse the situation.

"What Aubrey means to say is that we're a close-knit, talented group of ladies whose dream is to return to the national finals at Lincoln Center this year. Help us turn our dreams into a reality?" Chloe now pleading with Beca to get her to audition.

"Sorry but I don't even sing" she stated simply, "It was nice meeting you guys."

As she walked away from the booth, a smile grew on Chloe's face and Aubrey definitely noticed. She slapped the redhead earning a glare from her fellow co-captain.

"What the hell was that for?" Chloe screamed at Aubrey, earning some glares from some other people exploring the activities fair.

"Calm down, Chlo," Aubrey said trying to calm the now fuming redhead. "Anyway what was that goofy smile for?" She asked smirking at her friend.

"I think I'm in love, Bree."

"Of course you're in love with the little hobbit," she mumbled with a sigh.

The rest of the afternoon went by pretty slow for the girls, every once and a while someone would stop by the booth but it was definitely slow moving. They were just about to pack up the booth when a tall brunette approached.

"Am I too late to sign up?" The girl was out of breath and struggling to form coherent sentences.

"No there's still time," Aubrey said her attitude suddenly changing, "What's your name so I write it on the sign up sheet?"

"Stacie. Stacie Conrad." The girl stated.

"Okay Stacie, I'll see you at auditions," the blond said handing Stacie a flyer and sending her on her way. The smile on Aubrey's face now growing in size.

Chloe came up from behind her and nudged her with the biggest smile on her face. "What was that all about?" Chloe asked her trying to stifle a laugh.

"Oh shut up, Chlo," Aubrey said with a chuckle lightly pushing her friend.

"Look who's in love now," Chloe said now laughing hysterically, which earned her a middle finger from Aubrey.

That night Aubrey sat down and wrote her first letter to Stacie Conrad. The letter read:

 **Dear Stacie,**

 **It's crazy to think that I might be falling in love with someone I just met. Who knows this might just be a stupid crush that leads to nothing,or we could we end up being soulmates. Only time will tell right. It's just something about you feels different. Almost like an instant spark, and everything seems so clear to me all of a sudden. Stacie Conrad, I want you to know that I love you and hope that someday you'll be able to say the same.**

 **XOXO,**

 **A**

Aubrey folded up the letter and put it into an envelope before putting it in her desk drawer. As she climbed into bed that night she thought of the one reason why she was now excited about the school year ahead and that reason was Stacie Conrad.


	2. I Love You?

Auditions came up very quickly, and Aubrey was beyond excited. The main reason being that she was guaranteed to see Stacie Conrad again. Just thinking about the tall brunette made Aubrey melt. However, the auditions seemed to drag on, with no sign of the girl Aubrey was seeking. Sure the other girls were good, but she just wanted to see Stacie again. Just when Aubrey was about to lose all hope of seeing the girl again, the tall brunette strutted across the stage. She instantly perked up at the sight of the girl.

"Hi my name is Stacie. My hobbies are cuticle care and the E! Network."

Stacie began singing and although she had a good voice, Aubrey was struggling to get past the fact that she kept groping herself while she sang. Despite this small detail, the blond quickly moved the girl's folder into the yes pile, earning a smirk from Chloe. The rest of the auditions moved quickly and Aubrey just wanted to get initiation over with, so she could talk to Stacie at Hood Night. Just when Tommy announced that everyone had auditioned, none other than Beca Mitchell was caught peeking out from the right wing of the stage. Of course Aubrey was not overly pleased to see the short hobbit again. She wondered what Chloe had done to convince the alternative girl to come to auditions. Which then led the blond to wonder if she would have to apologize to the hobbit in the near future. Before there could be any protest, Chloe was waving the girl on-stage. Chloe was well aware that Aubrey didn't like Beca too much. Chloe also knew that Aubrey was definitely going to lecture her later for persuading the hobbit to audition. All that considered Chloe still went ahead and pushed Beca to audition. The ginger couldn't help it, she was in love with the tiny brunette. Justin then proceeded to give the Bella captains Beca's folder, which allowed Aubrey to finally put a name to the girl. Beca slowly made her way to center stage and awkwardly waved.

"I didn't know we had to prepare that song," she said somewhat nervously, recognizing the fact that Aubrey was glaring at her.

"Oh that's okay," Chloe said in her usual sweet mannered way with a huge smile on her face, "Sing anything you like."

Beca paused for a moment before reaching forward and asking Chloe if she borrow the yellow cup sat on the table, to which the ginger simply nodded. Beca sat down on the stage and began creating a beat with the cup. When she started to sing, Chloe just sat looking at her in awe. For Aubrey, however, she was shocked at how well the girl could sing, yet she didn't want the girl to know she was impressed. When Beca had finished and left the stage, Chloe immediately moved her folder into the yes pile and Aubrey made no effort to protest her friends decision. Although she didn't like the brunette, she knew Chloe had a crush on the girl and she wanted her best friend happy. Aubrey just hoped that Beca wouldn't be too much of a handful.

Initiation was kept short and the Hood Night party was upon them. Aubrey set the ground rules, well the only real rule being that if any of the girls slept with the Trebles they were out of the group. Aubrey secretly hoped that Beca would slip up just so she would have a reason to kick her out of the group, but she didn't even interact with the trebles. She stayed by Chloe's side all night, like her life depended on it. Yet as much as Aubrey was worried about what Beca was doing, she was hoping to make a move with Stacie that night, and finally get how she feels off her chest. The blond stayed sober the entire night, afraid that if she got drunk, she would say something she would regret to Stacie. The tall brunette however could barely walk in a straight line by the time the Hood Night party was over. So Aubrey being the good captain was, offered to walked Stacie back to her dorm, which was all the way across campus. The girls walked in silence until they reached the door to Stacie's dorm, and the brunette finally spoke.

"Thank you for walking me home," She slurred out, which made Aubrey smile.

"It's no problem Stacie. There's no need to thank me, I'm just doing a nice thing for a friend."

Just then Stacie leaned over and kissed Aubrey. The kiss started out sweet, then became deeper and more passionate. When both girls pulled away due to the fact that they needed air, Stacie kept her forehead against Aubrey's.

"I think I love you," Stacie still slurred her words, but Aubrey thought it was cute nonetheless.

"I think I love you too," Aubrey told the girl, the smile on her face growing.

Stacie pulled Aubrey in for another peck upon her lips before finally going into her dorm room. After Stacie had left her in the hallway, Aubrey stood in the hallway for a moment to comprehend what had just transpired. Stacie had just told her that she loved her. Stacie Conrad one of the hottest girls at Barden University, might be in love with her. She couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach as she recalled the first kiss that they shared. The happiness quickly faded though when negatives began to flood Aubrey's mind. What if she didn't remember the kiss? Or telling Aubrey she loved her? What if she only acted like she did because she was extremely drunk. Aubrey knew that focusing on the negatives would only make her doubt herself more, so she decided to head back to her apartment.

When Aubrey arrived home at her apartment she was greeted by Chloe, who lived in the apartment with her, cuddled up on the couch with Beca, who was sound asleep. Although Aubrey really wanted to roll her eyes at what she was witnessing, she was still too giddy about what happened between her and Stacie not even a half-hour ago. Chloe noticed the stupid smirk on Aubrey's face and immediately commented on it.

"Did something happen between you and Stacie?" the ginger questioned, now with a smirk on her own face.

"She kissed me," Aubrey said, the smile growing on her face, "She told me she thinks she's in love with me."

Chloe didn't say another word, but instead continued to smile back at her best friend. Aubrey was going to ask what Beca was doing at the apartment but decided to wait until the brunette was gone. The blond proceeded to her room, and sat down at her desk. She pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote her next letter to Stacie:

 **Dear Stacie,**

 **I have no words for what has transpired between us. Tonight you kissed me, and then you told me you loved me. It's given me so much hope for a future for us together. I know you were drunk, but I felt a spark tonight when you pulled me in and kissed me, maybe you did too. My love for you keeps growing everyday, and everyday you become more and more beautiful. I hope you know that I will also cherish that moment we shared in front of your dorm room. I am hopeful that one day we will be able have moments just like this everyday.**

 **XOXO,**

 **Au**


	3. I Don't Remember

The next morning, Stacie Conrad woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache. The brunette had overslept and only had ten minutes to get to her first Bella's rehearsal. She rushed to get dressed and ran across campus to the gym where rehearsals were held, yet still ended up being fifteen minutes late. She thought for sure Aubrey was going to be mad at her for showing up late to rehearsal, but was shocked to see the exact opposite. As she entered the room, Aubrey lit up and she shot the girl a smile. Although Stacie was confused by the blond's behavior, she smiled back and took her seat next to Fat Amy.

Rehearsal went well and before they knew it they were packing their things to go home. Stacie had left before Aubrey, but that didn't stop her from doing everything she could to catch up with the girl. By the time Aubrey reached the girl, she was completely out of breath. It was odd for the girl to be so winded, she exercised regularly and ran at least a mile a day, but nevertheless she blew it off and continued toward Stacie.

"Hey, Stacie," Aubrey said, still trying to catch her breath, "You did really great today."

"Aubrey are you okay?" the brunette asked the girl slightly concerned with how winded she was, "Do you need to sit down and catch your breath?"

"No, I'm good," Aubrey replied with a smile, although Stacie still had her suspicions about the way the blond blew off the situation. They resumed walking, this time side by side, and Aubrey had to fight the urge to take Stacie's hand in hers.

"So did you have a good time at the hood night party last night?" Aubrey asked the brunette, hoping that the girl remember the kiss they had shared the night before.

"I actually don't remember anything from last night after Beca and Chloe snuck off to go makeout. Next thing I knew I was back in my dorm room with a massive hangover. How about

you? How was your last Hood Night party?"

Aubrey was crushed that the girl was unable to recall the moment they shared, but at the same time she knew that this was probably going to happen due to how drunk Stacie was when she left her last night.

"It was really good," she replied, disappointment clear in her voice, "Look Stacie, I got to go study for a test but I'll talk to you later."

Before the brunette could even respond back, Aubrey was already gone down the block heading toward her apartment. As she walked back home, the tears began streaming down her face. She was kicking herself for thinking that she even stood a chance with Stacie. She knew the girl was so drunk that she couldn't even walk in a straight line, yet she was still angry toward the girl for not being able to remember. When she arrived back at her apartment she found herself thankfulthat Chloe wasn't home. She loved her best friend, but she didn't want to have to explain why she was so upset to the redhead, she just wanted to forget about it and move on from Stacie Conrad. It was nothing more than a silly crush anyway and Stacie obviously didn't feel the same way. Even in her distraught state, Aubrey decided to write another letter addressed to Stacie, the girl who had her reduced to tears not even minutes ago:

 **Dear Stacie,**

 **I found out that you don't remember the moment we shared outside your dorm room after Hood Night. It's okay if you don't mean what you said last night, but I truly mean what I told you last night. Stacie, I love you, and even though you mostly likely don't share my feelings, I want you to know that you will always hold a special place in my heart. I don't know if I'll ever be able to love someone the same way that I have grown to love you, but I don't want to force you into a relationship you won't be happy in either.**

 **XOXO,**

 **Aub**


	4. Moving On Or At Least Trying Too

Saying that Aubrey was having a hard time getting over Stacie would be an understatement. The girl only left her room to go to class and was barely eating. She had skipped the last two Bella's practices, which worried Chloe. After Aubrey missed practice for the second time, Stacie approached the redhead to try and find out what was wrong with the older girl.

"Hey, Chloe, do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, sure," the redhead replied, turning around to face the brunette, "What's up, Stacie?"

"Do you know what's going on with Aubrey? I've tried texting and calling her, but I haven't heard from her."

Chloe knew exactly what was wrong with Aubrey, and she knew why the blond was ignoring Stacie, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell the freshman that she was the reason Aubrey hasn't left her room in almost a week. So Chloe created a lie on the spot that she hoped Stacie would believe.

"She's just going through a rough time right now," she said, "I assure you that she is not mad at you."

The brunette of course believed her, and went on her way leaving Chloe alone. The girl felt guilty as hell for lying to Stacie, but she didn't have any other choice. What she supposed to do: tell the girl that Aubrey won't leave the apartment because she couldn't remember a kiss that they shared when she was drunk? Putting all of her guilt behind her, Chloe packed her things, and headed back to her apartment.

When Chloe arrived back at the apartment, she hesitated before she opened the door. She was nervous that she would open the door and find Aubrey dead. Once again she had to put her worried aside. When she entered the apartment everything appear to be the same, until Chloe noticed the drops of blood on the hardwood floor. The drops led to the bathroom door which was closed, making Chloe nervous once again. She knocked on the door and received no response from her roommate.

"Aubrey, are you okay in the there?" Chloe asked gently once again receiving no response from the blond.

Chloe decided to open the door, and what she saw when she opened the door was absolutely horrific. She opened the door to find Aubrey leaned over the sink, blood gushing from her nose.

"Oh my God! Aubrey are you okay?!"

Chloe rushed over the sink to remove some of the blood from the now blood stained sink. She lifted Aubrey's face away from the sink to clean the girl up and stop the bleed, when noticed how pale she was.

"Aubrey how long have you been bleeding?" Chloe asked, her tone changing from worried to serious in a matter of seconds.

"Just a couple of minutes," the blond finally responded weakly, "But this is the third one in the last two hours."

Aubrey began to feel dizzy, before losing consciousness and collapsing into Chloe's arms. Chloe kept her cool and carried Aubrey to the car to take her to the hospital. On the way to the hospital Chloe made a couple of calls, and hoped for the best.

Aubrey finally awoke two hours later and was confused as to what to the hell was going on. What confused her even more was the fact that Stacie was sitting in the chair next to her bed. Even though the girl did nothing to the blond, and Aubrey knew that, she still couldn't bring herself to look at Stacie. She instead focused on the ceiling, when Stacie finally realized she was awake.

"Aubrey, you're finally awake. I came as soon Chloe called me. I wanted to make sure you were okay," she said, taking Aubrey's hand in hers. Aubrey figured that Chloe was the reason behind the brunette's visit, and although she was mad at the ginger, she was happy at the same time that Stacie was concerned. She finally was able to pull her eyes off the ceiling to meet Stacie's gaze, making her realize how much she missed the brunette. Staring into Stacie's green eyes, Aubrey couldn't help but smile. Stacie smiled back, but then remembered the question that had bothering her all day.

"Aubrey, did I do something wrong? I've been texting and calling you all week but you've been ignoring me."

"It's really nothing, Stace," Aubrey said trying to brush the other girl off.

"It's obviously something, Bree. You started acting all weird after I said that I couldn't remember anything from Hood Night," Stacie paused, finally able to put things together, "Did something happen at Hood Night?"

"Do we really have to…" Stacie cut the blond off before she could finish.

"Aubrey, listen to me. If I did something wrong, I want you to tell me so I can fix what I did."

Aubrey hesitate and searched for a sign that Stacie would just let the topic go. When she finally realized that she wasn't going to have any such luck, she decided to finally just tell Stacie.

 _*Flashback*_ _The tall brunette however could barely walk in a straight line by the time the Hood Night party was over. So Aubrey being the good captain she was, offered to walked Stacie back to her dorm, which was all the way across campus. The girls walked in silence until they reached the door to Stacie's dorm, and the brunette finally spoke._ _"Thank you for walking me home," She slurred out, which made Aubrey smile._ _"It's no problem Stacie. There's no need to thank me, I'm just doing a nice thing for a friend."_ _Just then Stacie leaned over and kissed Aubrey. The kiss started out sweet, then became deeper and more passionate. When both girls pulled away due to the fact that they needed air, Stacie kept her forehead against Aubrey's._ _"I think I love you," Stacie still slurred her words, but Aubrey thought it was cute nonetheless._ _"I think I love you too," Aubrey told the girl, the smile on her face growing._ _Stacie pulled Aubrey in for another peck upon her lips before finally going into her dorm room._ _*End Of Flashback*_ _**(the flashback is how Aubrey tells Stacie)**_

When Aubrey was done recounting the night to Stacie, the younger girl just sat staring back at her. Aubrey was afraid that she would run out of the room, instantly regretting what she had done. Instead, her expression turned soft and she moved her chair closer to Aubrey's bed.

"Aubrey, I'm so sorry that I couldn't remember. I want you to know that I mean what I told you that night, though. I really do feel something for you but I was afraid that if I told you, it would make things weird between us, and I was convinced you just wanted to be friends. I'm pretty sure I can make it up to you."

Aubrey furrowed her brow slightly confused, but before she could protest, Stacie was pulling her into a kiss. Aubrey was quick to kiss back, deepening the kiss. The girls only pulled away for air yet kept close to one another, afraid to let the other go.

"Aubrey Posen, I am so madly in love with you, and I don't want you to forget that."

"Stacie Conrad, I love you more than I've loved anyone in my life. I never want be away from you again. To be honest with you, these last few days have been hell without you."

Chloe watched in the doorway as the exchange took place, happy that her friend was happy again. Happy that two of her best friends will finally get to be together.


	5. What Are We?

It's been two days since Aubrey was released from the hospital. Stacie hasn't left her side, in fear that something bad could happen if she is left home alone again. To be honest, the blond was feeling much better, and she has tried to tell Stacie, but the brunette wasn't having it.

Stacie had just arrived at the apartment after her classes and decided that she and Aubrey were  
going to have a movie night. She had brought a variety of movies and tons of snacks, so she was definitely well prepared. Aubrey didn't say a word, she just sat there and watch as the brunette set up the snacks across the small table in front of the couch. When everything was set up and the movie had begun, the girls remained silent but snuggled into each other on the couch. About halfway through the movie, Stacie reached forward and paused the movie, much to Aubrey's surprise.

"Aubrey, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," the blond said, furrowing her brow slightly.

"It's been great getting to spend so much time with you the last few days," she began, earning a smile from the woman beside her, "I just want to know what exactly we are. I just don't want to get my hopes up for something that isn't going to happen."

"Stacie, I would definitely be willing to become more than friends," she stated, her smile growing, "That is if you want to?" Aubrey looked back at the younger girl with hopeful eyes,  
awaiting her response.

"I would love to be your girlfriend," Stacie said lovingly, before sharing a passionate kiss with her girlfriend.

The movie ended and Aubrey left Stacie momentarily to go and use the bathroom. Fifteen minutes had passed and Aubrey still wasn't back, which raised some concern for the brunette. She left the living room and made her way down the hall to the bathroom to find the door was still shut.

"Aubrey, honey, are you okay in there?" She asked, concern clear in her voice.

When she didn't receive a response, she opened the door slightly to find Aubrey leaned over the sink with blood pouring from her nose. She approached the girl before the girl walked over to her and collapsed into the brunette's arms. The girl immediately started uncontrollably shaking, which made the already startled brunette go into a full-on panic. She helped Aubrey to the floor  
before racing back to the living room to grab her phone. She called 911 and looked back down the hall to see that the girl had just stopped shaking. She had no idea what was going on but she did know that it scared the shit out of her.

Aubrey had been subjected to countless tests, all of them coming back normal. The last test that  
the hospital could perform a blood test, the results being available in a week. Stacie walked in right as the phlebotomist was leaving the room. Aubrey smiled at her entrance and patted the empty space next to her. Stacie didn't hesitate and immediately snuggled into Aubrey's side.

"You really scared me back there," Stacie said her eyes welling up a little as she spoke.

"I know," Aubrey said, wiping her girlfriend's tears, "But I'm okay and were together. Although, I do have to ask one small favor of you."

"Anything," Stacie replied, looking into the blond's ocean blue eyes.

"Don't tell Chloe," she said, slightly cringing as she awaited Stacie's response.

"Bree, she's your best friend. Why wouldn't you tell her?"

"It's just she worries about me a lot and I don't want to stress her out if this turns out to be nothing," she replied truthfully.

Stacie only nodded as she snuggled closer to the blond and closed her eyes. In a matter of seconds, Aubrey found herself silently crying, everything hitting her all at once. She won't admit it to Stacie, but she is beyond scared. Yeah, there's a chance that the blood results could come back normal, but there's also a chance that they won't, and that makes Aubrey scared as fuck.


	6. The Results

_*a/n: Don't know if any of you guys watch Chicago Med, but if you do I included a little bit of Manstead in this chapter. Also just wanted to give a little disclaimer that this is probably one of the saddest chapters. So I apologize in advance*_

It's been a week since Aubrey's blood test, and to say that blond was nervous would be an understatement. When she arrived at the hospital to get her test results, she stopped for a moment and just sat in her car, mentally preparing herself for the worst case scenario. When she couldn't sit in the car any longer and she had to go into the building, she exited the car and approached the building, her hands shaking slightly. She then made her way upstairs to the doctor's office, and signed in at the front desk, before taking a seat in the waiting room. Fifteen minutes later, a nurse called Aubrey, leading her to an exam room to await her results. Not even a minute after the nurse had left, the doctor had entered Aubrey's room, test results in hand.

"How are you today, Ms. Posen?" Dr. Manning asked the blond, "Have you experienced any of your prior symptoms since I saw you last week."

"Well, Dr. Manning…" Aubrey was interrupted by her doctor.

"Please, call me Natalie," the brunette said with a smile.

"Sorry, Natalie," Aubrey said smiling back, "Anyway, I have still been experiencing the nosebleeds and shortness of breath. I'm noticing now though that I'm experiencing extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, and weight loss."

"Well, let's take a look at your test results then, shall we?"

What happened next is what made Aubrey nervous. As Natalie read her results, her smile remained on her face until she got about half-way down the page. Her smile quickly faded and was replaced by a look of sympathy. Aubrey knew at that point that whatever she just read, couldn't be good news.

"What is it Natalie?" the blond questioned, "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Your red blood cell and platelet counts are extremely low, but your white blood cell count is extremely high, which raises some concern for us. Ms. Posen, there is no easy way for me to tell you this. Your tests have led us to believe that you have Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia or ALL. I'm  
so sorry."

Aubrey sat there stunned. She had just been told she is slowly but surely dying. The news hit her like a brick wall, and all at once she lost it. One minute she was sitting in the exam room awaiting her results, and the next she was reduced to tears, collapsed into Dr. Manning's arms.  
Once Aubrey had composed herself enough to pull away from Natalie, her doctor explained the next steps she needed to take to begin treatment.

"I'm going to refer you to an oncologist, whom I work hands-on with here at the hospital. He will perform a bone marrow biopsy today to confirm your diagnosis. The test will also tell us how much your cancer has progressed and what stage you are at. The results are going to be  
available on Monday, and at that time we will be able to select a course of treatment."

Aubrey just sat quietly and nodded as Natalie spoke, trying to remember every last word she said. When Natalie had finally gone over everything, she led Aubrey to oncology to meet Dr. Will Halstead, who was the head oncologist at the hospital and Natale's fiance. Natalie had apparently already gone over the results with Will because he already had everything set to go for the bone marrow biopsy. When they reached the room, Natalie turned to Aubrey.

"Look, I have to go back to my office, but I just wanted to wish you good luck," the brunette said, wrapping her arms around the blond, "I'll see you Monday."

With that, Natalie left, and Will began preparing Aubrey for the biopsy. He had her switch into a hospital gown so that her back was easily accessible to extract to bone marrow. Before he went on any further with the preparations, he turned to Aubrey, looking into her eyes with the same  
sympathetic look that Natalie had given her.

"Do you have anyone you can call to give you a ride home?" He asked her.

"Well, I drove myself here," she said, "But I can call someone if need to."

"You are definitely going to want to call someone. You are not going to want or be able to drive after this."

Of course, this made Aubrey more nervous, but there was no turning back now. The procedure was definitely the most painful thing Aubrey had ever experienced in her lifetime. Will had inserted a needle that was a little over two inches long into Aubrey's lower back, with only a shot of mild anesthetic to numb the area. Even though she was given the anesthetic, Aubrey still felt searing pain when the needle entered her back. It only took about ten minutes, but it was the most painful ten minutes of her life. Every second that passed felt like an eternity as she waited for the test to be completed. As Aubrey exited the room and made her way downstairs, a realization hit her. If Dr. Manning's diagnosis was correct this could become her new normal. Frequent hospital stays, testing, and constantly feeling sick. She wasn't quite sure if she was ready for this to become her new normal.

Aubrey had called Chloe to pick her up from the hospital. Chloe agreed to drive Aubrey's car, while Beca drove Chloe's. Aubrey kept her eyes focused out the window afraid to look at her best friend in the eyes. The drive to the apartment was extremely quiet until the ginger finally broke the silence.

"What were you doing at the hospital?" Chloe chuckled, "I thought you had class today."

Chloe's smile quickly faded when she realized that her best friend was sobbing quietly in the passenger seat. Crying partly due to the pain in her back, and partly because she didn't want Chloe to know what she was doing at the hospital. She didn't know if she could look at her best friend in the eye and tell her she was dying. She knew that it would kill Chloe knowing she had cancer, but there was no point in trying to keep the news from her friend. She would have to tell her  
eventually anyway.

"Chlo, I have cancer," Aubrey said, tears once again streaming down her face, "My doctor thinks that have Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. I went for a bone marrow biopsy after which is why I needed you to drive me home. I'll get the results on Monday."

Chloe just sat there unsure of what to say. She just found out that her best friend could be dying. She wanted to break down and cry. She wanted to feel sympathetic for Aubrey because she's so young. Yet she knew that Aubrey didn't need either of those things, she just needed a friend by  
her side. She just wanted someone who wouldn't treat her differently because she had cancer, so Chloe was going to be that person.

"I'm here for you Aubrey," the ginger said, "If you need anymore rides just let me know."

Aubrey was both surprised and thankful for Chloe's reaction. She was surprised that Chloe didn't make a bigger deal about the situation because the girl had a tendency to be dramatic especially when it came to Aubrey. Although she was thankful that Chloe realized she wasn't looking for sympathy, she just wanted her friend to listen to her. The rest of the ride was silent until they arrived at the apartment. When the girls pulled up in front of the apartment building,  
Aubrey turned to Chloe and spoke simply, "Hey Chlo, please don't tell the Bella's. I want to be able to tell them when I'm ready. That means don't tell Beca either." Chloe nodded in  
recognition and allowed Aubrey to go into the apartment ahead of her promising she would be up in a minute. Beca was already at the apartment, arriving there ten minutes before the other girls. Chloe watched as Aubrey entered the building and tears began to well up in her eyes. She was never going to admit to Aubrey that she felt sorry for her, but she was. She sat in Aubrey's car sobbing in the silence and trying to wrap her head around what she had learned during their ride home.

Meanwhile, in the apartment, Beca and Aubrey politely exchanged hellos before Aubrey proceeded to her bedroom. She entered the room, shut the door, and sat down at her desk. She had planned to write her final letter to Stacie Conrad, in case her life was cut short before she had the chance to profess her love to the brunette. The letter read:

 _Dear Stacie,_

 _Today I received the worst news I could have imagined. I found out today that I have cancer. There's so much that I haven't gotten to do yet, and one of the things that I've wanted for such a long time is to be with you, and now that I have that opportunity, my time is running out. I don't know if I'll get the chance to say this to you before it's too late, but I love you so much. I don't know how bad this is yet, but if my days do become numbered, I would wish that I could live out the rest of my days with you, so I spend my final days with the love of my life._

 _XOXO,_  
 _Aubrey_


	7. Delivering The Letters

It's been a week and a half since Aubrey got the devastating results. It's also been a week and a half since she left her bedroom. Chloe was trying to give the girl her space, but she couldn't deny that she was getting nervous. The girl was only eating enough to get by and only came out of her room for classes, and by the time that Chloe got home every night, Aubrey was already back in her bedroom. On top of that, Aubrey still hadn't worked up the courage to tell Stacie about her news, even though the girl was technically her girlfriend.

Aubrey was in her room attempting to catch up on the work she had fallen behind on when she received a call from Dr. Halstead. She knew what he was calling about and she had been  
dreading the call for days, yet she knew she had to answer. Not knowing her fate was killing her more than her disease was.

"Hello, Dr. Halstead," Aubrey tried to say cheerfully, although she was actually trying to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Hello, Ms. Posen. I'm sure you already know what this call is regarding."

"Yes," the blond said, the suspense building by the minute.

"I just wanted to apologize real quick for your results taking longer than we initially , after going over your results from your bone marrow biopsy, we were able to confirm our original diagnosis of Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. The biopsy also showed that the cancer is stage three at the moment but if we begin treatment immediately, you might have a fighting chance against this."

"How long do you think I have left?" she asked trying to choke back the tears that threatened to spill at any given moment.

"If we don't start treatment right away," Dr. Halstead said, "I'd say you have roughly three months before the disease takes over."

"Thank you very much, Dr. Halstead."

Before he had a chance to respond, she hung up, and she completely broke down. It was hard enough to handle the cancer diagnosis alone, but to have stage three cancer at only twenty-four years old, that's a little too much to handle.

Once the girl had composed herself she decided to write one more letter to Stacie. She definitely didn't want to tell her girlfriend that her time was numbered in a letter, but the truth was that she just couldn't bring herself to tell Stacie. The letter read:

 _Dear Stacie,_

 _If you read my last letter, you would already know that I have cancer. The doctor called today and was able to confirm his original diagnosis of Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. The_ _really shitty part is that it has already progressed to stage three, and if I don't start treatment right away, I only have three months to live. I definitely didn't want you to find out this way, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you. I couldn't bring myself to knowingly hurting you. I just want you to know how much I love you, no matter how many days I may have left. I don't want you to ever forget that._

 _XOXO,_  
 _Aubrey_

She grabbed the rest of the letters from her desk drawer and numbered them one through five, the order in which Stacie should read them. Once the letters were numbered she slid the envelopes into a large yellow envelope, writing "To Stacie" across the front in permanent marker. The only thing left to do now was to deliver the letters, which was going to be the hard part.

That night, Aubrey briefly came out of her bedroom long enough to ask a small favor of her best friend. She came down the hallway and kept her distance from Chloe once she finally decided to sit on the couch. She said nothing but offered a small smile, to show that the redhead that her best friend was gone completely. Chloe returned the smile, and the girls sat for a while just embracing the others company. Aubrey almost completely forgot why she had gone to Chloe in the first place until Chloe decided to strike up a conversation.

"Bree, I don't want to push you to do anything," she began, clearly nervous, "But when are you going to tell Stacie?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," the blond began, trying to find the right words to say, "I don't think I can actually tell her."

Chloe looked a little disappointed in the girl, which pushed Aubrey to continue on. "I've written these letters for her, and I want you to give them to her. Just tell her to make sure she's alone when she reads them."

The redhead didn't say a word, only nodded as Aubrey pulled out the large envelope from behind her back. Once she had given the envelope to Chloe, she made her way back to her bedroom.

Chloe left to deliver the letters to Stacie shortly after her talk with the blond. She wished she knew what was written in the letters, yet at the same time, it's not her place to snoop in Aubrey and Stacie's business.

As she approached the brunette's door, she realized that she had put no thought into what she was actually going to say to the girl. After pacing nervously in the hallway for about ten minutes, Chloe eventually decided to just slide the envelope under the door before rushing down the hallway.  
-

Stacie was sat in front of her desk, trying to study, yet failing miserably. She found herself thinking about Aubrey. She hadn't seen the girl since she was in the hospital almost three weeks ago, and she was starting to worry about the girl. She finally decided to take a break from studying and worrying about Aubrey, so she decided to go and get something to eat, hoping that would take her mind off things. As she approached the door, she saw the large yellow envelope on the floor with "To Stacie" written across it in big bold letters. She grabbed the envelope and sat on her bed to further inspect the mystery package. She opened the envelope to find five smaller ones inside numbered one through five. The brunette laid the envelopes down on her bed, as she opened the envelope with a large one written across it. Inside the envelope she found Aubrey's first letter which read:

 _Dear Stacie,_

 _It's crazy to think that I might be falling in love with someone I just met. Who knows this might just be a stupid crush that leads to nothing, or we could we end up being soulmates._ _Only time will tell right. It's just something about you feels different. Almost like an instant spark, and everything seems so clear to me all of a sudden. Stacie Conrad, I want you to_ _know that I love you and hope I that someday you'll be able to say the same._

 _XOXO,_  
 _Aubrey_

Just seeing the girls name made the brunette smile. It was cute to see that her girlfriend was so nervous when they first met. She didn't even hesitate to rip open the next letter. The second letter said:

 _Dear Stacie,_

 _I have no words for what has transpired between us. Tonight you kissed me, and then you told me you loved me. It's given me so much hope for a future for us together. I know you were drunk, but I felt a spark tonight when you pulled me in and kissed me, maybe you did too. My love for you keeps growing every day, and every day you become more and more_ _beautiful. I hope you know that I will also cherish that moment we shared in front of your dorm room. I am hopeful that one day we will be able to have moments just like this every_ _day._

 _XOXO,_  
 _Aubrey_

The brunette suddenly felt all the guilt she had felt just weeks before when she had been reminded by Aubrey of what had happened just weeks before. She proceeded to open the third letter a little bit more reluctantly, remembering how upset Aubrey was that she didn't remember this moment. The letter read:

 _Dear Stacie,_

 _I found out that you don't remember the moment we shared outside your dorm room after Hood Night. It's okay if you don't mean what you said last night, but I truly mean what I told you last night. Stacie, I love you, and even though you most likely don't share my feelings, I want you to know that you will always hold a special place in my heart. I don't know if I'll ever be able to love someone the same way that I have grown to love you, but I don't want to force you into a relationship you won't be happy in either._

 _XOXO,_  
 _Aubrey_

It broke her heart that she was just finding out how upset the girl was. Sure she knew the girl was upset from what the girl had told her when she was in the hospital, but she didn't realize how broken and lonely the girl was actually feeling at the time. At this point, Stacie really didn't want to open the last two letters. She didn't want to hear about the other ways that she had managed to hurt the girl, yet the same time she hoped that one of the letters would give her a clue as to why Aubrey seems to be avoiding life outside her apartment. She opened the fourth letter and she read:

 _Dear Stacie,_

 _Today I received the worst news I could have imagined. I found out today that I have cancer. There's so much that I haven't gotten to do yet, and one of the things that I've wanted for such a long time is to be with you, and now that I have that opportunity, my time is running out. I don't know if I'll get the chance to say this to you before it's too late, but I love you so much. I don't know how bad this is yet, but if my days do become numbered, I would wish that I could live out the rest of my days with you, so I spend my final days with the love of my life._

 _XOXO,_  
 _Aubrey_

The brunette read over the letter four times before everything finally hit her. Her girlfriend wasn't avoiding the outside world, she was scared that death could take her at any given moment. The letter fell to the floor and her head fell into her hands, as hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She raised her head briefly and was reminded of the final letter, which was still lying on the bed. She reached over with her hands shaking, slowly opening the letter. She thought there was no way that the final letter could possibly be worse than the one she just read, but as she read the letter, it somehow managed to prove her wrong. The letter, from that morning, said:

 _Dear Stacie,_

 _If you read my last letter, you would already know that I have cancer. The doctor called today and was able to confirm his original diagnosis of Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. The really shitty part is that it has already progressed to stage three, and if I don't start treatment right away, I only have three months to live. I definitely didn't want you to find out this way, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you. I couldn't bring myself to knowingly hurting you. I just want you to know how much I love you, no matter how many days I may have left. I don't want you to ever forget that._

 _XOXO,_  
 _Aubrey_

She was a complete mess. Her girlfriend was dying and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She felt helpless. She felt terrible that she wasn't there when Aubrey got the results, but most importantly, she felt guilty as hell for not tell Aubrey how she felt sooner.


End file.
